


Red Soldier

by wand3rlust



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Friendship, Gen, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1818511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wand3rlust/pseuds/wand3rlust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky finds the EXO-7 FALCON file by chance and thinks he might recognize Riley from the photo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> This might be part of something bigger I'm working on, but I just kinda wanted to test the waters here. At this point Sam and Bucky are still just getting to know each other, they've only hung out alone a small handful of times and so it's not exactly slash yet, but will be eventually. I marked it with PTSD because of Sam's reaction to Bucky's admission, but please let me know if there needs to be any other warnings in the tags.

Bucky doesn't mean to snoop. He’s looking for a ruler in the desk drawer and the folder is just there.   _EXO-7 FALCON_. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s thumbing through the documents scanning them for vital information. Old habits die hard.

Some of it he’s familiar with already. The blueprints of the wing pack is something deeply ingrained into his memory. He could deconstruct and re-construct them as easily as he could take apart and put together his rifle. He’s sure Hydra trained him for that.

Notes about Sam’s training. Successful and unsuccessful missions. 

A photo slides out and drops to the desk. There’s a man in the photo next to Sam. A sense of something familiar sends a chill up his neck. No memory fills the gap, but he keeps seeing the color red.  _Red… something. Red… soldier?_

 Sam rounds the corner into the room, sandwich hanging from his mouth and he’s juggling an armful of books. He glances to the folder in Bucky’s hands, shoves the books to one arm, bites off the corner of his sandwich and grabs it from his mouth. “That’s classified information Barnes!” he says walking quickly to the desk dropping the books on top and pulling the folder from Bucky’s grasp.

"Sam, I know, I didn't mean… I — that man," Bucky points to photo on the desk. "I think I know him."

It takes only a second but but Sam suddenly has his hand shoved firmly into Bucky’s shoulder pushing him with a firm thud into the bookshelf. Bucky’s every instinct is telling him to defend himself but he knows that will only make things worse. Sam’s stare is hard and cold. "What does that mean? How did you know him?"

"I don’t… He just seems familiar. I’m sorry, I don’t know why." Bucky shifts his shoulder, Sam’s thumb now digging in uncomfortably.

At that, something in Sam’s face falls. He glances at his own hand dug into Bucky’s shoulder and pulls it away quickly. He frowns and clasps his fingers open and shut like he’s testing his motor skills and backs away slowly. He glances up to Bucky, a mix of fear and concern on his face. “Sorry,” he says quietly and then is looking at his hand again.

"I’ll go," says Bucky as he rounds the other side of the desk towards the door. He knows Sam can’t trust him right now and he doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t exactly trust himself yet either, but he’s getting there. No need to drag Sam down with him through this mess.

"Wait, Bar…Bucky!" Sam calls after him.

He pauses as he’s grabbing his hat and jacket from the back of the couch he’d thrown them on. Sam doesn’t use his first name often, he thinks it still must be too informal for Sam at this point, so him using it now takes him by surprise.

"Man, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that, it was incredibly unprofessional of me." He spits it out rapid like he thinks Bucky will vanish before he’s done.

"Unprofessional?" Bucky huffs, "You’re allowed to have feelings Sam. I don’t blame you, it’s no less than I deserve, especially after everything thing I’ve done I —"

"Hydra." Sam interrupts. "Hydra did that, not you."

Bucky looks at his feet for a long moment. How Steve managed to befriend someone as decent as Sam he’ll never know, but he’s so very thankful to whatever forces put their paths together.

"Still," says Bucky, "you and I both know there’s more to it than that. I know you are more at ease when Steve or Natasha are around. I know you still have nightmares about what I did to you. I know there’s no guarantee that some Hydra agent won’t find me and use me against you all. I don’t expect you to trust me fully when I still can’t even trust myself. Even you are not that foolish."

Sam just nods and gives him a sad half smile and looks away like he doesn’t know what to say.

Bucky shrugs his jacket on, brushes his long hairback off his face and pulls the ballcap on snug over his head as he heads to the door.

"Bucky," Sam says his name again, and this time it comes out softer and more familiar. "Don’t disappear on us ok? Call Natasha or Sharon or something."

Bucky nods. It’s nice to be part of an us, to know other people are counting on him. Somehow he knows letting Sam down is something he never wants to do, which is why he’s going to find out who that man was. For Sam’s own peace of mind.


End file.
